It's not always a wonderful life!

"celebrate what you want to see more of"
tom peters

Sometimes, it isn't easy to see the positive in much of anything... especially during the holidays.  Guilt, anger, regret, fear, anxiety and exhaustion of a weary soul [to name a few] can often be wrapped in everything around you.  And, while you are busy keeping everything wrapped up and put together the best you can, you watch others around you celebrate the "it's a wonderful life" version of Christmas.

Well, sometimes it isn't a wonderful life. Everyone has their secrets and struggles, some are just bigger than others.  It is OK to know your Christmas looks different.  But, also realize that the abuse that happened is in Christmas' past.

So, how do you look at the present?  There is a gift that you can allow yourself this year.  It will not cost you anything but a little determination, bravery and knowing you are worth every bit of joy you are seeking.  Find something that you admire in someone else or something that you find yourself wanting to be or wish that you were.

Begin to celebrate that very thing in yourself and soon, if it isn't that very thing you celebrated that you recognize in yourself, the journey of seeking it will strengthen your weary soul and replace sorrow with celebration.

"my soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word"
psalm 119:28

photo credit: zilverbat. via photopin cc



I dropped by Facebook earlier.
I thought about how I was feeling and wrote a quick sentence.
It ended up being a nice little sentence... I thought.
So, I thought I would share it here with you too:

"Even when you can't smile... hope is waiting at the corners of your lips."


Finding a day when it is safe not to hide

This morning... I'm enjoying the task of making, smelling and tasting cinnamon rolls, sweet potato casserole, marshmallow salad for my kids and, of course, the sound of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV.  However, today isn't an easy day for me.  This week hasn't been an easy week with me... although, I'm thankful it started with time with my therapist.  I miss spending this holiday with the family I grew up with... however, I am thankful for my husbands and my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything.

Before getting ready for our big Thanksgiving meal, I laid down for a moment.  My husband had something on TV about fighting or hunting.  They were saying, "It is important to always wear camouflage.  You can never walk standing straight up in the woods or through a field, you will be seen.  Always crawl along the ground, you'll be more protected there."

I guess, an appropriate lesson for Thanksgiving.  (Although, I'm sure turkeys wouldn't have minded that advice a couple months ago.)  I'm thinking.... interesting though, that humans should have to be told that.  Then I thought, being abused at a very young age, that has always been a way of life for me:  not drawing attention to myself, my surroundings, not ruffling feathers (sorry for the pun) and staying out of anyone's line of fire is a measure of protection that comes very natural to me, to those being hunted or preyed upon.  So!  What a wonderful, uplifting thought on a holiday morning.  Right?

Then, I believe it was God, that brought me back to a message a friend posted on Facebook.  With her permission, I would love to share her Thanksgiving message with you:

"On this day ... Thanksgiving 2014 ... Is a day I am reflecting on the FAITHFULNESS of The Lord. Our holiday will look a little different this year, missing some of our loved ones, but God's faithfulness is overwhelming this day. I'm standing ... I'm still standing. I'm thriving ... I'm stronger. You know why? Because of God. HE is so worth it. I was practically born saved, but I know Him deeper and sweeter than I've ever known Him. Happy Thanksgiving!" - BM

Sometimes, we need to hide and protect ourselves.  Other times, we have the liberty to step out with courage to withstand the fight that happens around us.  I pray for you today, friend and reader, that you will find the gift of Thankfulness today.

Thanks for being an inspiration and a woman living through God's strength, BM.

Happy Thanksgiving,


What does anger stand for?

Are you ever just... angry??  You just get angry?  Maybe that isn't the word for it, but if you really thought about it, you could categorize your state of mind as anger.

Well!  Yesterday I was fine!  This morning I was fine [even when realizing the second I woke up that I totally forgot to make a cake for work.... and, I decided it was the perfect morning to sleep in].  I was fine this afternoon.  I even had some down-time, which I haven't had in months, just to sit for a couple of minutes and put my mind back together.  So... why am I angry now?

I don't know what happened.  If you were here, sitting next to me, I could probably be cordial without too much effort.  I could probably smile at a joke or enjoy a cup of coffee.  But, once you were gone again and I was left to myself, there it would be - peaking out from behind the strong aroma and the lingered sound of laughter...... standing there....... anger.

I don't know where it creeps up from.  I don't know what it always looks like.  I don't know how to recognize it or make it go away.  I don't know why I can't feel some other way. I don't know what it stands for.  Anger doesn't paint a pretty picture.  Usually, anger doesn't appear in self-portraits.  However, it is very colorful in someone else's moment of catastrophe - then, it is easy to point blame and see reason.  But, when it is my anger?  Nope!  Not too easy to see.


With only muscles to frown with and a clinched jaw to match, anger isn't a reflection of who I want to be, I'll share with you what I feel right now:  Anger isn't hope.  Anger isn't looking up.  Anger isn't truth.  Anger isn't confidence.  Anger isn't self-assuring.  Anger isn't profitable.  Anger isn't productive.  Anger isn't caring.  Anger isn't love. 

So, anger shouldn't get the chance to be stood for!!

Think about being angry.  Try it.  Try to be angry!!  (If you are angry right now, you may want to wait for a better time to try it.)  Think angry.  Are you angry?  What emotions do you feel?  Maybe you don't think of the word "anger".  So, what words describe how you feel?  Think of a couple words or feelings...

Now.  Look up... put your the tip of your nose high in the air.  Take one long breathe in.  Slowly, allow the air back out.  As the air escapes, allow all those words to leave too.  Take another long breathe in.  Slowly, allow the air back out.  As the air escapes, allow all those feelings to leave too.

Friend, God can give us hope, even in the midst of sorrow.  The next time your emotion-of-anger overwhelms you, acknowledge that you have the right to feel that way.  Acknowledge that God made you with the perfect strength to escape, to exhale the guilt, disgust, pity, misunderstandings, un-acceptance, loneliness... anger away from consuming you!!  Know the next time you don't feel like "you", through God, you have the strength to stand up against Satan's deception, exaggeration and stolen joy!! 

Take a stand!!!   Anger and everything it stands for can NOT have a hold on you if you choose to give it to the Only One who is Love.  Take a stand!!!  You can.

photo credit | Olga Ferrer SaladiƩ via photopin cc


My Chance to Use the Scissors

I came across a quote this morning that intrigued me, "If I cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors".

For the first time, I could see truth in those words. I think I am growing into a place where I can give myself permission to not be responsible for everything... and, at the same time, allow myself the permission to not feel responsible for other people's choices.

I think I used to have such a mind set that people who said things like that had an attitude and were only looking for a reason to justify demeaning and place blame on others. I would have seen those words as a vengeful person grabbing the scissors from the closest person and saying, "See there! You deserve what you had coming to you!!" Now, that is probably typical of certain people, but that isn't my point.

I liked reading those words and knowing that I have the right to determine how I am being treated... and, I have the right to do something about it! I pray that this new found insight will only be used wisely and responsibly.

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ." Phil. 1:9-10