4/18/15

What if I fall?


I saw this on Facebook yesterday and I HAD to share it with you!!  

BTW
If you are looking for a supportive community, to help you fly,
I encourage you to join me on Twitter and Facebook.  


I don't know how originally posted it, so I can't give credit where credit is do - please let me know if you do.  
Thanks.

4/16/15

Tweets on the Playground


What is wrong with me this morning?  I'm even wearing my glasses!

I just read two tweets:

"Should I report #ChildAbuse?" @AbusedKids

"I wish it weren't true, but it is.  You can be a grown woman and feel like your a little girl on the playground." @dukeslee

Those seem like reasonable tweets... although, that isn't how I read either of them!  This is what I read:

"Should I support #ChildAbuse?"

"I wish it weren't true, but it is.  You can't be a grown woman and feel like your a little girl on the playground [at the same time]."

Both tweets almost sent me to tears (my version)...

Subconsciously, I know I spend most adult days, feeling like the little girl, alone and scared on the playground.  Somethings just don't leave or change very easily.  

Consciously, I'm tired of supporting child abuse by just living... it is a fight I didn't ask to be in and it won't stop.  

I know supporting and surviving aren't the same thing.

I'm not losing... control, maybe.  

The fight, no!

Well, journey-journal, I guess this is where I am today.


Are you having one of those days??   You may like having a little "control"... you may like listening to this song by JJ Heller:




Copyright ©Rayne 2015
Molar Abuse© and My Journey Journal contents are property of Rayne.  |  All content is copyright protected.
No reproducing is allowed without written permission.  CONTACT for permission and printables,

4/9/15

It Could Be Worse... I Could Be Better


So, I started my third anti-depressant several weeks ago.  Nice, huh?  I've been a little out of it - adjusting. I really don't like taking medicine... especially for something that isn't my fault.  I guess everyone has there issues that are beyond their control.

Growing up, I had a clear perspective of life's givings... "It could be worse."  I always thought that was the best way to be thankful for life.  I guess it is true... things could always be worse.  However, at the same time, I always viewed those more reserved and conservative than me as,"I could be better."

As I get older, I look back on those days.  I wonder if my, "it could be worse" theory was because things were worse!  With so many repressed memories, I can't tell you what was bad, but I wonder if my theory was a way of protecting what was happening to me... rather than what could happen to me.

I have always wanted to be a good girl, a respectful and God-fearing girl.  There are people who endure such pain and hardship that I can't imagine.  But, I also have the right to look at my own pain honestly.  Bad things have happened.  Not to "play the victim card"... but to be honest with myself and allow myself credit for overcoming the circumstances that I have walked through.

That is hard to do.

"God never gives up on you, He never runs out on you, He never lets go of you.  
When you're about ready to give up - remember this:  He hasn't.
Ann Voskamp


Copyright ©Rayne 2015
Molar Abuse© and My Journey Journal contents are property of Rayne.  |  All content is copyright protected.
No reproducing is allowed without written permission.  CONTACT for permission and printables,
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4/1/15

Honestly!



I am very honest with other people.  I'm not talking about being a "tell people what I think" type of person... I'm not present enough to have that many opinions!  But, I will tell you if I saw someone stealing something.  I will tell a neighbor if something looks suspicious when they are not home.  I will tell you way more about myself then I probably should.  I am good about talking more than I should.

I wonder... is that because I had so much that I couldn't tell... I couldn't be honest about?  I'm sure some if it is just personality.  But, I know that I have been impacted by abuse more than I am able to even imagine.


Copyright ©Rayne 2015
Molar Abuse© and My Journey Journal contents are property of Rayne.  |  All content is copyright protected.
No reproducing is allowed without written permission.  CONTACT for permission and printables,

3/26/15

Short and Simple

I wish I could say, "A lesson learned".  But, I have a lot of learning and practicing before I can experience this expression.


PROGRESS IS NOT PERFECTION.
Kathy Jenkins, CPO



Copyright ©Rayne 2015
Molar Abuse© and My Journey Journal contents are property of Rayne.  |  All content is copyright protected.
No reproducing is allowed without written permission.  CONTACT for permission and printables,